Zaina Sesay says she was “completely blindsided” by the finale of “The Ultimatum” Season 3.
The finale, released Dec. 18, was the culmination of a few charged weeks in her relationship with Jon Richard “J.R.” Warren.
Zaina, 32, and J.R., 33, were together for three years before going on the show. She issued the ultimatum to him, and in the finale she got her answer. But watching the show has been a bigger revelation, she says.
“I was completely blindsided by everything,” Zaina tells TODAY.com in an interview. “I had no idea who the person that I saw watching it was. I did not recognize J.R. My friends and family are like, ‘Who is that man? We don’t know him.’ And I just feel like I was completely deceived the entire time, to the point where now the world feels like we were in a fake relationship based off of how he was acting.”
Read on to find out how Zaina and J.R.’s journey on the show ended and where they stand today.
Do Zaina and J.R. get engaged in the ‘Ultimatum’ finale?
Zaina and J.R. had trial marriages with Scotty Lewis and Sandy Gallagher, respectively. At first, in the finale, it seemed like the experience caused J.R. to change his mind about marriage.
“You showed me so much love and care. I want to thank you for that,” J.R. told Zaina in the finale. “I wasn’t ready to receive it before this.”
Taking her hands, he told her he thought she’d make a “fantastic wife and mother,” and that he envisioned himself giving “100%” to make her happy.
“I can see all that with you,” he said.
But — with a revelation timed to the music stopping — J.R. decided he wasn’t at that point to give her what she deserved. He wasn’t the “rock” or the “provider” he wanted to be. So, he decided to leave the show single.
Zaina seemed at peace with his choice and told J.R. he would be an amazing husband one day. “Deep down, I just knew you weren’t ready,” she said.
The two both became emotional as Zaina told J.R. she loved him and they shared a kiss. He reciprocated the sentiment. “You’re still my favorite person,” Zaina said.
Speaking to TODAY.com about that day, Zaina says she wasn’t sure whether J.R. would propose.
“It was just so hard to tell because the entire trial marriage he kept saying all the right things to keep me holding on to hope,” she says. “I felt like there was a possibility we would have left there together, or at least not gotten engaged and then continued our relationship off in real life.”
But on “Ultimatum Day” she noticed that his body language gave away his decision.
“He kept backing up. I was like ‘Are you trying to actually go into the bushes like Homer Simpson? I’m confused,'” she says.
What is Zaina and J.R.’s relationship like now?
As far as her current relationship with J.R. goes, Zaina tells TODAY.com that it is “non-existent.”
“It’s unfortunate, because I am a very understanding person. I like to have conversations, and I feel like if he would have taken accountability in any way, shape or form, we could have been cordial. But he avoided any real conversation,” she says.
The reality television star continues, “So it’s like almost passing a stranger on the street. We run into each other at events and I don’t even look his way, because everything that happened was so disrespectful to the 10th degree.”
Zaina says she’s happy that “everything came to light” and she is at peace with the end of her relationship.
“It sucks that I had to go through that experience, but I feel like sometimes God has a way of revealing things. And it was clear: J.R. and I were not meant to be together and he needed to be removed,” she says.
The real shock, Zaina adds, has come in watching J.R.’s relationship with Sandy, his trial marriage partner. On camera, J.R. and Sandy were open about developing feelings for each other and shared two kisses. This, however, was news to Zaina.
“When we switched back over, J.R. was very much so, like, ‘Nothing happened. Sandy was the one that initiated everything.’ He was saying all these things to downplay everything to the point where I believed him, and I was just like, ‘There’s nothing for me to worry about,'” she says.
While Sandy had spoken to Zaina about the trial marriage, she says she didn’t know the extent of their relationship until recently.
“After the show he never gave me closure, or he refused to have real conversations. I didn’t know anything that happened between him and Sandy until last month, before we shot the reunion,” she says.
Since the show, Zaina has been supported by family, who are “very upset” on her behalf.
“They’re thanking God I’m out of that toxic situation. They’re just pouring a lot of love into me, but also like, ‘Please, just stay away from him,'” she says.
At the reunion, which aired Dec. 18, J.R. told his side of the story, saying that Zaina was upset about the time they spent broken up after the show and did not want J.R. to date other people.
“I told her I needed time to process things, and she wanted to go back to what we were doing, and ignore the whole experience, and get back together,” J.R. said. “We’re not together. I feel like if we really want to realize what we want out of our relationship, we do need to take this time apart. I think you were upset about that.”
Zaina clarified that after their breakup, they lived across the street from each other while continuing to talk and spend time together.
“Naturally, I was really confused and he refused to give me any type of closure,” Zaina said. “I would ask, ‘OK, during this break, are we seeing other people?’ That’s a valid question to ask. That was asking for clarity. That is not being controlling.”
“I have a lot of love for Zaina. I don’t know where all this hostility is coming from. I’ve helped her whenever she called on me. There’s no time where I shut her out,” J.R. responded. “I haven’t given her closure because I’m still processing things.”
Where is Zaina now?
Zaina says she has “no regrets” about going on the show and would do it “a million times over” because before she was “blinded to everything.”
“I’m just really grateful for the entire experience, no matter how painful it was and how many tears I shed, and how awful the healing journey was,” she says.
After the show she went on a “deep healing journey.”
“I just started prioritizing myself. I started really leaning into my passions. I left my corporate job to pursue becoming an entrepreneur on my own. I’m working on building my own wellness brand. Fitness, wellness (and) self care are the three things that I want to prioritize (as well as) mental health,” she says.
Zaina added that she is also looking forward to sharing her story with others “to help them identify when it’s time to walk away.”