Surprise! On March 22nd 2024, a beautiful sunny (yet cold) day in Kyoto, Richard and I eloped!
This post may be a little different from my usual “informative” guides, but I wanted to share this happy news with everybody here – especially since we got married in Japan.
A huge thank you to Ross and Ayako from Serendipity Flower & Wedding, who planned the whole day and took care of everything for us, and Sam Spicer, who took the most magical photos of our day. And, of course, our supportive friends and family for allowing us to have the day we wanted.
Here’s what eloping in Japan was like and why we did it this way!
How Did We Elope in Japan?
Richard proposed to me in Hakone in November 2022. After having been together for nearly 10 years, I can’t say our friends or family were very surprised – but I definitely was! Of course, we’d discussed wanting to get married one day, but it was never a priority or something that had to happen at a certain time.
After looking at wedding options in the UK, it became pretty clear that having a big wedding wasn’t something either of us wanted. We looked at venues but nothing really sat right with us, plus the hefty price tag that comes with even a small wedding kinda put us off.
When we decided to elope on our already-planned Japan trip, things fell into place almost effortlessly. I found Ross and Ayako, the power couple behind Serendipity Flower & Wedding, through a quick Google search. We planned a video call with them and immediately hit it off – this felt right.
Ross and Ayako took care of everything. And I mean, EVERYTHING. From booking the venue we liked to hiring the photographer (thanks Sam!), putting together my bouquet, arranging hair and makeup and more.
All we had to do was show up. We knew we were making the right decision seeing how easy it was to put this plan together. I picked my dress and ring within a week, we immediately fell in love with one of the venues Ross and Ayako work with and we picked a date that worked with our planned itinerary.
When we told our friends we were eloping, nearly everything had been planned and booked. Even though we were a little worried about everybody’s reaction, our friends and family were incredibly supportive. “This is SO you guys” – and we can’t agree more.
What Was Our Elopement Like?
The day itself was perfect. I know many people say that about their wedding day, but I honestly wouldn’t change a thing. The weather was beautiful, there were no nerves, and at the end of the day, my jaw was hurting from smiling so much.
I am SO glad we decided to do our ceremony and vows this way. Intimate, with just the two of us, in a place that means so much to both of us. The entire day, I felt so present – I was able to soak it all in and enjoy every second.
In the morning, we had a pre-wedding photoshoot in Higashiyama with Sam and Ross. It was great getting to know Sam and getting used to being in front of the camera – it made the ceremony itself feel even more comfortable.
Afterwards, Richard and I had a big breakfast in a coffee shop near our hotel. And then, it was time to get ready. Richard, Ross and Sam left early to get to the elopement spot while I was getting ready with hair and makeup. Ayako and I made our way to the garden soon after.
Richard was already waiting for me, and after our “first look”, we headed to the torii gate under which we were going to get married. Ross officiated, which he did beautifully. We said our vows and exchanged our rings. I felt no nerves whatsoever – everything felt right.
After our ceremony, the owner of the garden came over to congratulate us. We also took part in a Shinto wedding ritual, where you drink three sips of sake – one for the past, present and future version of yourself.
We had some time to take photos with Sam. He made it feel so effortless and fun – and I am still blown away at the preview shots we received. They look incredible. I’m so happy we get to relive the day through them.
We all made our way back to our hotel and said our goodbyes. Richard and I got to call our friends and families back home and went out for a delicious meal in Gion afterwards. The entire day felt so lovely and relaxed. For us, it was the perfect way to get married.
Why Did We Elope?
Eloping isn’t for everyone, I completely understand that! But for Richard and me, it was absolutely the right decision.
After Richard proposed, we started looking at venues, prices, guest lists and dates for a UK wedding. While nobody pressured us into doing anything we didn’t want to do, I started to feel a lot of “social” pressure. All our married friends had had a more “traditional” wedding, so I naturally thought that was our only option.
Being an international couple, the logistics of planning a wedding with friends and family living in two separate countries was tricky. And on top of that, the more we looked into things, the more we realised we’d never dreamed of having a big, traditional wedding. I’d never even considered what my dream dress would be, or what my ideal wedding venue would look like.
We kept cutting the guest list, making the wedding smaller and smaller. But when adding up the price of a small UK wedding and having visited some venues, neither of us felt very excited. We were getting quite stressed over anything wedding-related. We’d come home disappointed after looking at venues, and the idea of having to say our vows in front of everybody made me feel sick.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE going to weddings as a guest. Seeing my close friends get married and have the wedding of their dreams brings me so much joy. I’ve always dreamed of being Richard’s wife, but I never dreamed of a big wedding – I just never gave it a lot of thought.
It wasn’t until a friend (thanks Scott!) said “You should just do it in Japan” that it clicked for me. This was the end of October 2023 and we’d already planned our 3-month Japan trip starting the following February. On a drive from London to Manchester, Richard and I had a chat – what would we miss if we scrapped the UK wedding plan and eloped in Japan instead?
The answer – surprisingly little. If anything, the entire 3-month Japan trip would cost less than the average cost of a UK wedding, which for us, just wasn’t worth it. I googled “how to elope in Japan”, found Ross and Ayako, and within a couple of weeks, everything was planned.
What Did Our Friends and Family Think?
Richard and I are incredibly lucky to have the best support system, both in the Netherlands and the UK. While I was a little nervous telling people we were planning on eloping, everybody has been super supportive of our decision.
Everybody who knows us well immediately knew this was the perfect way for us to get married. When I told one of my close friends, she said “this is the first time I’ve heard you talk about your wedding where it doesn’t feel like a big to-do list.” And that’s truly how it felt – I finally felt excited about our wedding.
When we’re back in Europe, we still have a small get-together planned for close friends and family in the UK and the Netherlands. A “happily ever after after party” if you wish. This way, there’s no need for nerves or stress about a big wedding day, but we still get to celebrate it.
We get to have the best of both worlds – an intimate ceremony for the two of us, and a small dinner with the most important people in our lives.
I guess the moral of the story is, your wedding day is YOUR wedding day. There is so much pressure on following society’s norms and family traditions, but doing what you and your partner want is what’s most important. We are so happy we got eloped and we wouldn’t change it for the world.
Thank you again for all the support, friends, family and everybody online. And the biggest shout out to Ross and Ayako from Serendipity Flower & Wedding, and Sam Spicer.
Much love, Mr & Mrs 😉