Ollie has fallen foul of Big Ill once more, so I’ve emerged from my cave, brushed the stalactites from my hair, picked the luminescent beetles from my beard, and put together this week’s column. Would you like a beard beetle, reader? I have many of them. Oh, how they glow! That was a trick question. The beetles are mine and mine alone. You will have to make do with videogames. Here’s what we’re clicking on.
Brendy
Fell down a well.
Ed
Fell down a different well.
Edwin
This weekend I need to knuckle down with a review game, but I’m also spending time with Dark And Darker and the Dungeonborne playtest, both loosely corresponding to the description “what if Skyrim, but multiplayer grave-robbing”. Accomplishments so far: in Dark And Darker, I got chased around a crate by multiple skellingtons until I ran out of fireballs. In Dungeonborne, I have fabricated the prettiest, surliest elven druid I can manage – he’s got lavender hair and black-and-white facepaint over cut-glass cheekbones. He looks like he’s just split from the boyband because electropop is growing stale and he needs to take it to strange new places. I’ll let you know how he gets on.
Graham
Fell down the first well looking for Brendy.
James
Not much time for games this weekend, sadly – I have a day and a half of driving boxes around Swindon planned, followed by a surely relaxing evening of watching my national football team get turned inside out by a Spanish teenager. Might try to squeeze some Elden Ring in at halftime, mind.
Jeremy
I might check out Isles of Sea and Sky this weekend. It’s a sokobon (that means block pushing) puzzle game that Sin enjoyed, and I like it for its Link’s Awakening-inspired visuals, as well as the fact that it seems to be channeling Pacific Islander aesthetics and culture. Whether those nice bits can get me to endure an entire game focused around pushing blocks, we shall see. Puzzle games have never been my strong suit. Game Boy-style graphics, however, can go a long way into brainwashing me.
Kiera
Fell down the second well looking for Edders.
Nic
This weekend, I’ll opening the function wheel to select cradle to enter the memetic menu to unlock the disassembly bench to disassemble scrap so I can craft ammunition to fight rift entities inside monoliths to activate rift anchors to discover more mystical crates to collect more tier I rustic caps. I’m fine. It’s fine. Once Human is fine. It’s fine.
Ollie
Fell down a well. Different well.
But you, reader dear, what are you playing this weekend?